Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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