I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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