There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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