Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
