I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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