Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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