i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
