I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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