my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
