When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
