One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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