my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
