He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
