U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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