One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
