we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
