what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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