I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
