my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
