maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Pooping to opera.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
