They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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