yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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