So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
