I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize