someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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