Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize