Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
