he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
