a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
