Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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