Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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