Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
