how hairy? two words: wookie tits
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
