I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
