The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
