I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
