last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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