we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
