wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
