Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have demons in me.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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