i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
