i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
