I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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