no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
