i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
