WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
