the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dick very happy bro
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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