Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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