you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
