Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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