I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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