No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Randomize
