I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
