whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
