It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
