This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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