he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
