I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
