I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
