The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh god it's open bar.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize