She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
