I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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