Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
