didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
