id be glad to
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
